Rory Kilmartin




I have dedicated my adult life to better understanding

the human experience, with particular focus on

the full potential of intimate relationships,

how Power Dynamics shape our lives,

and the journey of maturation itself.


Who am I?


My name is Rory Kilmartin, I am a Relationship Researcher from London.


At an early age I had the sense something was ‘wrong’ with the way human beings were relating to each other.


At the age of 12 these realisations came to a head following another unpleasant

experience and I vividly remember deciding with all my being,

‘I was not going to do that to the person I love,’

and so began my life-long enquiry into love and relationships.


Over the last thirty-three years I have read, explored, discussed, observed, interviewed,

studied, read, deduced, demystified and discovered numerous,

fundamental principles of the human experience, which when understood

make life much easier to navigate and enjoy.


Over these years I have often been catapulted into areas of enquiry

after coming across mysterious aspects of the human condition.


One of the earliest mysteries I observed was that many people

are far more forgiving and respectful of their friends than they

are their intimate partners.


I also observed evidence of this often when two people who

knew each other as friends and were kind to each other, then

became much less kind to each other after

starting a relationship with each other.


Another mystery I observed years ago was how kind, well meaning,

benevolent people with all the best intentions in the world and who are kind

and loving to each other most of the time can descend into total dysfunction and then

cold disconnection, sometimes for days, over simple disagreements or frustrations.


Many more mysteries have appeared over the years and these apparent anomalies

have fostered enormous curiosity to understand the driving forces that create

widespread dysfunction, violation and heartbreak for so many people.


Over the years, people began to interview me and seek my thoughts on the confusions

of their own lives and in 2003 I was inspired by various friends

and research partners to write my first book.


In 2004, inspired by those same people I created and facilitated a series of one-day workshops in London.


Fast forward 30+ years and my research has led me to interview

hundreds of people, work with dozens of private coaching clients,  

and seek out elders, mentors and teachers. I have also had the astonishing

privilege of sharing my findings via workshops in London and around the world.


The power and potential of my findings emerge when I share them with other like-minded

people. Because of the proven and significant positive benefits my clients have experienced

I continue my research, so that others can benefit.


Whilst working with my clients, I have one simple intention, which is to

to help them ‘see more clearly’, thus enabling them to navigate

their lives with more grace, compassion and strength.


What do I do?

If you are experiencing confusion and dysfunction in your own life, or simply searching for answers, you can benefit from my research findings in the following ways:

  • Relational Power Dynamics - LIVE Workshop

    The main focus of my research for the last 12 years has been Relational Power Dynamics. This 3-day workshop is a proven 9-step process designed to reveal the driving forces behind your day-to-day experience of life and the life-changing benefits that emerge naturally from this understanding.

  • Relational Power Dynamics - ONLINE Workshop

    If you are unable to attend a LIVE event in London, you can also benefit from the Power of this work via our ONLINE Workshop. This 10-week course with interactive workbook will reveal the driving forces as described above. This body of work alone will demystify huge amounts of confusion in both your relationships and your entire experience of life itself.

  • Invitation of Love - ONLINE Workshop

    The Invitation of Love is a dive into ‘Models of Relationship’ and how they deeply affect our experience of relationships. This workshop answers many of the most pressing questions surrounding love and relationships and reveals the full potential of both. The clarity this workshop provides will liberate you from confusion and mystery whilst empowering you to relate to the people you care about with greater compassion and understanding. Put simply, all your relationships will improve, including with your self.

  • Residential Retreats

    In 2020 I am aiming to host the first ever Relational Power Dynamics 5- day Residential Retreat. The location and details are yet to be announced but the event will be the most powerful event I facilitate and will positively transform your experience of life moving forwards.

  • Private Coaching

    My Private Coaching Practice is for individuals or couples who are seeking focused support to resolve issues that are troubling them. This direct attention often produces rapid positive progress and is hugely beneficial for those who participate.

  • Forthcoming Books

    There are 3 books currently in development;

    - The Game of Life: Understanding the fundamental principles of maturation.

    - Relational Power Dynamics: Demystifying the driving forces of our lives.
    - Jealousy is Optional: Overcome the Monster and Reclaim Your Sanity.


    More information coming soon!