Who am I?
My name is Rory Kilmartin, I am a Relationship Researcher from London.
At an early age I had the sense something was ‘wrong’ with the way human beings were relating to each other.
At the age of 12 these realisations came to a head following another unpleasant
experience and I vividly remember deciding with all my being,
‘I was not going to do that to the person I love,’
and so began my life-long enquiry into love and relationships.
Over the last thirty-three years I have read, explored, discussed, observed, interviewed,
studied, read, deduced, demystified and discovered numerous,
fundamental principles of the human experience, which when understood
make life much easier to navigate and enjoy.
Over these years I have often been catapulted into areas of enquiry
after coming across mysterious aspects of the human condition.
One of the earliest mysteries I observed was that many people
are far more forgiving and respectful of their friends than they
are their intimate partners.
I also observed evidence of this often when two people who
knew each other as friends and were kind to each other, then
became much less kind to each other after
starting a relationship with each other.
Another mystery I observed years ago was how kind, well meaning,
benevolent people with all the best intentions in the world and who are kind
and loving to each other most of the time can descend into total dysfunction and then
cold disconnection, sometimes for days, over simple disagreements or frustrations.
Many more mysteries have appeared over the years and these apparent anomalies
have fostered enormous curiosity to understand the driving forces that create
widespread dysfunction, violation and heartbreak for so many people.
Over the years, people began to interview me and seek my thoughts on the confusions
of their own lives and in 2003 I was inspired by various friends
and research partners to write my first book.
In 2004, inspired by those same people I created and facilitated a series of one-day workshops in London.
Fast forward 30+ years and my research has led me to interview
hundreds of people, work with dozens of private coaching clients,
and seek out elders, mentors and teachers. I have also had the astonishing
privilege of sharing my findings via workshops in London and around the world.
The power and potential of my findings emerge when I share them with other like-minded
people. Because of the proven and significant positive benefits my clients have experienced
I continue my research, so that others can benefit.
Whilst working with my clients, I have one simple intention, which is to
to help them ‘see more clearly’, thus enabling them to navigate
their lives with more grace, compassion and strength.